June 2009
1 post
6 tags
Four R’s: Remakes, Returns, Rip-offs and Retro or...
Guess what, Hollywood is unoriginal. Now I know that’s probably never been brought to your attention before, correct? You’ve never heard anyone say something like that? In fact, in all probability, I’m blowing your goddamn mind right now? Yes. Hollywood is unoriginal. Yes. We have heard this constantly by anyone who didn’t like one of many features on UPN to not like (RIP Shasta McNasty)....
May 2009
1 post
4 tags
"Bringing back a Dinosaur" goes WAY deeper than it...
It always amazes me how bizarre Hollywood “scientific” notions so easily influence the scientific community into thinking things might work. It’s never impressive or yearned for either (Pee Wee Herman’s breakfast machine), it’s usually something boring and technical (the contraption in Jodie Foster’s “Contact”). Something scientists have been contemplating for years is the...
April 2009
4 posts
4 tags
Waking up the American Dream: Its Change,...
I love America. Honestly I do. I’m aware that, within the past few decades, its government has been as appealing as having tiny glass shards in your retinas. But besides that, this land is good land. It’s a blessing to be here, no matter where you stand in politics. “American” probably means you have shoes and access to food. So despite your hippy-dippy liberal problems with everything, you’re...
5 tags
Discovery Channel "Exploit your world": Pop...
As I’m floating on the choppy surface of the Caribbean sea I have several horrid graphic thoughts run through my head that is currently pointing downward at the massacre on the sea floor. Through my foggy scuba mask I see about a dozen black tip sharks shredding through large hunks of unidentifiable meat, circling and swarming, in a menacing method of taking turns to devour whatever they can...
5 tags
Nostalgia for 80's/90’s Entertainers’ Despair:...
Who remembers late 80’s/early 90’s entertainment? I certainly do, thanks to VH1’s programming and a meaningless early upbringing spent in front of the television. It was that unforgettable time of pure terrible nonsense which makes me yearn for something more in today’s bad. Apparently back then there was a need for entertainers to have a “grabbing” quality to them, no matter how half baked or...
Ghosts versus Aliens versus God: Earthlings, the...
I wrote this after seeing the following article: Study: People Believe In Aliens and Ghosts More Than God
I have a few guilty pleasures I’d like to share with you. I love shitty pop punk music of the late 90’s. I love bad horror films, the more serious it takes itself… the better. Thus I strongly recommend the movie “Slugs” to anyone who hasn’t been blessed with it’s viewing. Along those...
March 2009
6 posts
Jesus H. Chris(t) Farley: Suffication by the...
Infamous \ˈin-fə-məs\ : having a reputation of the worst kind Being a famous celebrity is difficult. I wouldn’t know anything about being one, although the clerks at the corner liquor store have started recognizing my face- most likely from being an alcoholic (I’m not proud as I am self aware, that may or may not be one of the 12 steps stairs that are so easy to fall down). But once...
Quick thought
CNN is still talking about Obama’s Special Olympics comment on Leno (when he called himself retarded at bowling). People are up in arms, and rightly so. However I’d prefer to have a president acknoledge his retarded qualities, instead of hiding the fact, say, through 2000-2008, and let everyone figure out that he was in fact fully fucking retarded at everything he touched like the...
Upload your pic between my twitties: Social...
There is a tragedy that is happening right now in America. It seems innocent enough and everyone is doing it, including my parents who have never done anything I have. In fact when they do, I quickly examine the action, perceive it to be doomed, peel out and attempt to destroy it. I’m referring to the plague of mass obsession of social networking sites. More specifically Twitter.
I could include...
My 25 Things I was too cool to post on Facebook
1) I am a comedian because people told me I should be since I was five and I’ve had semi decent success. If was up to me I’d probably be a fiction writer or a scientist. I was very very VERY close to going to Fordham University for Biology. 2) I was a very dark child and wrote several versions of my will and planned out my funeral. These are probably hilarious instructions hidden in my...
The New Hope
Well. I must say for someone who necessarily isn’t against the new hip thing, it certainly took me awhile to blog about htings. It’s easy for someone to instantly feel disdain for something that catches on so fast and strong. It’s even easier to be the early follower. I have a friend who is quick to put down the majority critique of something before he even tries it. That’s...